Relationships are like a house. Some relationships look like well built homes and others look like the picture to your right…topsy turvy and broken down.
Let’s look at relationships from a different perspective and examine 5 crazy but true ideas about them.
These Relationship Truths
1. If a relationship has a firm foundation, you can rebuild it
Do you or did you share, at one time, friendship, trust, love, safety, balance? If so, and the cracks in your relationship are minor, you can rebuild it with time, work, awareness and even a little bit of fun.
2. Opposites do attract but severely mismatched core values destroy that attraction
Find out what your core values are and ask your partner to do the same. Make sure you complete the exercise and order your values, according to their importance in your life. Evaluate where the two of you stand. Understanding each other from this viewpoint will make an astounding difference!
3. Ignoring the love strategy of your mate is a disaster waiting to happen
Each of us has a love strategy that, when it is in play, lets us know that we are loved. What specifically do you need to have happen in order to feel loved?
If you feel loved when someone buys you something, then that works for you. Perhaps your love strategy is being told that you are loved. Maybe it is the look that your partner gives you. If your love strategy is not being fulfilled, then you won’t feel loved. For example, if you need to be told that you are loved and your partner will only buy you flowers to show you that he loves you, you won’t feel loved.
4. The little things really, really matter
The little things make a difference. Bringing your spouse a cup of tea when they are upset, giving them a hug or getting one, leaving love notes by text, post it notes, or email bring joy to the hearts of some. How would you feel if your partner left you this note……”You are the sunshine of my life…You lift me up when I am feeling down”?
If you like to be told that you are loved, discover for yourself how often you need to be told, once or more times a day, once or more times a week? What works for you?
5. Conflict is not the problem, how you resolve conflict is
How do you resolve conflict in your relationship? Is there name calling, smashing of plates, door slamming and chaos or do you sit calmly, talking with each other, getting to the root of the matter, without blame? Is it time for a new conflict resolution strategy? Conflict does not need to be a relationship killer, it can be a doorway to greater communication.
How does your relationship stack up in light of these truths?
“Drive your own life…you deserve to , don’t you?” Sherie Venner
**Photo courtesy of Amber Chipman
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