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7 Steps to Connecting with the True Self


Are you having trouble feeling connected with the true self inside of you?  Here are some steps to help you regain your inner serenity:

serenity the true self

1. Silence your Inner Critic

If you are continually telling yourself that you are no good, that you don’t deserve happiness, that you can’t accomplish your dreams, you are not able to connect with your true self.

Your true self will tell you that “Yes, you are good enough”, no matter what happened to you in the past.  “Yes, you do deserve to be happy”.  “Yes, you can accomplish your dreams”. . .most people have dreams that are too small, not too big. . .

2. Tell the Truth

Acknowledge where you are, on the path that you are travelling.  Unless you know where you are, on the path that you are currently travelling, you won’t be able to change it. 

For example, if you are going to a town, you need to know where you are coming from in order to plot a map to get there.

You will know that you aren’t connected to the true self by these behaviors:

Addictions (examples: smoking, sex, food, approval, alcohol, overspending, workaholism, etc.)

Depression (and no, I am not talking about the chemical imbalance kind)


There are more. . .what do you struggle with?

3. Stop Perfectionism in it’s Tracks

When you play the perfectionist game, you create personal sabotage.  No one is perfect, so if you set yourself up to BE perfect, you will fail.   Stop getting in your own way!!

Perfectionism is a barrier to connecting with the self.  All you can do is all you can do and it is good enough.

4. Listen to the Still Small Voice Within

Your intuition can be your best friend.  If you have trouble connecting with your intuitive voice, you can create, in your imagination, a council of people (from the past, real or imaginary).

Allow yourself to enter a calm state by eliminating distractions, slowing down your breathing and closing your eyes.  Let yourself drift in your imagination and find yourself in front of that council of people, that you choose to create in your mind’s eye.

Mine includes Helen Keller, Leonard da Vinci and others.  Ask them the question that you have and then listen for the answer. Realize that the answer is really coming from you; this is just a way to circle around any resistance.

This exercise allows you to tap into your own inner self, the true self, in the guise of an imaginary council.  It can be a highly effective exercise, give it a try, it is fun!

5. Reflection Within the Self and Forgiveness

Take the time to just BE with yourself, in a quiet place.  It can be difficult, in these busy times, to take that time. 

You don’t need much. It can be a few minutes in the morning, or it can be a few minutes before you drift off to sleep at night.  During this reflective time, don’t judge the thoughts that come up, just let them go past. 

Observe them, don’t hang on to them.  See what happens. Practice forgiveness.

6. Give Yourself Permission to Connect and to Succeed

Permission?  That might seem strange. . .permission to connect with the true self?  Yes.  We have become so disconnected in our society, with the advent of technology and families further apart from each other.

It has become normal to feel disconnected from our inner selves, to rush through life hastily, without a thought to having a rich connection to our true self.  It can seem selfish to take that time (and it does take time, even if a little). 

You are important; give yourself the permission to connect. Your life will be richer.

7. Allow Yourself to Dream

When we allow ourselves to dream and to dream big, those dreams will tell us stories about ourselves.  If you dream of going on travels around the world, what does that tell you about yourself?

Write your dreams down and see if there is a pattern. . .look at it. . .listen to your intuitive voice. . .what are the common threads that have run through your life, the dreams that persist no matter what?

When you allow yourself to have your dreams and to accomplish what your true self desires, you will feel so connected.

There are many ways to connect with the true self, these are just a few.  I hope that these 7 steps have helped you to start.  Let me know if I can be of help to you.

"Drive your own life. . .you deserve to, don't you?" Sherie Venner

** Photo credit to Luz Adriana Villa A.**

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I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Rob Hodgins December 19, 2011, 6:07 am

    Excellent points here! It’s tough talking to the inner self. But, it must be done.

    • Sherie December 19, 2011, 9:33 am

      It must! : D Thanks for your comment, Rob!