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Tough Times: Are you Making These Mistakes in Tough Times?


Are you having problems with your relationship, financial issues or something else?  Do you feel disconnected from yourself in any way? We all go through tough times at some point in time. Tough times are easier if we are not making these mistakes.

 Tough times persistence

Photo by rkramer62

Mistake #1 : Not dealing with grief of the lost dream

This is no small or easy thing to do. . .and it can be difficult no matter the size of the dream lost.  It can be the big loss of the dream of an unborn child or as simple as the disappointment of another failed weight loss attempt.

Accept the reality of what IS. . .as hard as that may be. It is a necessary step on the path to recovering you.

Avoidance does not work, it delays the inevitable and makes things worse (think: what we resist, persists).

Mistake #2: Not accepting help

If you don’t have a support system, there is no time like the present, do it NOW. (No man or woman is an island).

Talk to a trusted counselor, coach, or spiritual advisor.

Gather your family, let them know what is going on (there is no room for shame here).

Find resources, like support groups on the internet and in social media, like facebook and twitter friends (yes, you can have real friends on twitter and facebook).

Do you need medical or professional help?  If you need it, get it. . .if more than one person you trust tells you that you need professional help, please, please get it.

When we connect with others, it is easier to connect with ourselves.  It might seem counter intuitive and it does work.  

Mistake #3: Not using visualization to formulate a new goal (and move forward)

Examine any barriers that you have to reaching that new short term goal (let them go).

Decide what you want to have happen in the short term, you can do long term planning later (and I suggest you do, do long term planning). Your short term goal might be to get dressed that day, it all depends on how far into the depths you have gone. Maybe it is to create that new resume for your dream job.  

See it, hear it, feel it as if NOW. The more vivid you make that visualization, the better!

Tip:  If you have trouble with visualization, make yourself a dream board with pictures that you draw or cut out of magazines.  Check how you feel about the picture.

If you feel any resistance, examine it.  Is there a belief under there that is holding you back?  Example: I am not good enough, I don’t deserve it, good things don’t happen to people like me, etc.

Persistence and Patience Win the Day

“When one door closes, another opens”.  This might be an old saying and it is true, even if we can't see that far into the future. Life happens and with it, tough times can come.  No one is immune. All of us deal with loss at some point in time, don't we?

Make a decision, that you will go on, that you will become stronger, in spite of what has happened. Listen to stories of how other people have gone on and how they have overcome a similar situation.  Be inspired.

When you are in the middle of trouble, whether you recognize it or not, when you look back on it from a future point in time, quite often, it was the start of something new.  A new pathway opened up.  You met new people who were significant in your life.

You are a work in progress, just like the rest of us. Patience and persistence will get you there. Continue on; be kind to yourself, because you can.

 "Drive your own life. . .you deserve to, don't you?" Sherie Venner

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I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Rob Hodgins December 15, 2011, 4:51 am

    A timely post, indeed! It seems that this time of year can breed as many down times as it can up times.

    • Sherie December 15, 2011, 9:35 am

      Yes, for many very different reasons. Thank you for your comment, Rob!