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3 Surprising Reasons You Find Letting Go so Hard to do

Have you ever been told that letting go of a relationship, a job, a negative past event or something else is the best thing for you? Then, even if you agreed with that, did you find the letting go to be difficult and hard to do?

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All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. – Havelock Ellis

What Do You Need to Let Go of in Your Life?

Here are some common situations that people find themselves letting go of.

  • A relationship ( or aspects of one) that is no longer working
  • Habits and vices that no longer serve you
  • Resentments and anger over the past
  • Negative beliefs that hold you prisoner
  • Low self esteem
  • Lack of faith in yourself
  • Your inner critic
  • A job or situation that doesn't meet your needs

Reason #1: Letting Go is Hard When You Have Made a Public Declaration

You have made a public declaration to the world, either in the form of a commitment like marriage, living together or having a child together. There is a theory that when people have stood in front of other people and declared their intentions publicly, it is harder for them to back down and say that they were wrong or made a mistake.

That makes sense to me. How many of us know someone who converted to a way of thinking, discovered that they were wrong, yet they couldn’t bring themselves to admit it or change the path they were on? This happens quite often in the case of a marriage that is no longer working, in spite of all efforts to save it.

Would you Tell Christina on Grey’s Anatomy to Let Owen Go?

Yes, I am a big Grey’s Anatomy fan. In a previous post, we talked about why Owen thought that love hurts. This week, there is a new episode, fast on the heels of Owen’s confession to Christina that he has cheated on her (and it was only sex, according to the previews). I can hardly wait to see how this plays out!

Now, Owen and Christina are fictional characters, yet their dilemma is one that faces a lot of couples. One or both have been unfaithful to the other. Betrayals have happened and the emotional temperature is at a fever pitch. Whether they make it or not remains to be seen.

We all have friends and family members who know of someone who has been cheated on and lied to, perhaps it even happened to you. Quite often, we don’t understand why they continue to stay and be humiliated. They give excuses like “he is a good provider” or “she is an excellent mother” or “as long as they don’t leave me, I will turn a blind eye”. It can even be as simple as the sense of shame and losing face in front of those that we love.

Reason #2 Letting Go is Hard when You Hold on with an Iron Grip

I went to West Edmonton Mall last weekend with the family. They have an indoor amusement park in the mall, complete with a roller coaster, ferris wheel, carousel, bumper cars…you name it, they have it!

I haven’t been on an amusement park ride in 12 years because I have an inner ear imbalance that makes the whole world topsy turvy when I go on one. This makes it just a tad bit nerve wracking.

I let Allison convince me to go on Mumble’s Wild Ride….well…now that’s a story. You get strapped into a two seated platform that throws you all over the place. You watch the screen with 3 D glasses  and it really feels like you are sliding down ice floes and being plunged under water. It is quite realistic.

In the first few minutes, I held on with a grip so tight that no one could have pried my hands open….and then about half way through the ride, I had a sudden realization that this was just like life…when you hold on too tightly, you can’t enjoy the ride. So I let go…just like that…in that brief moment of awareness…and just let myself be in the now of the ride…and it was fun…

Reason #3 Letting Go is Hard When You Don’t Think You are Safe

Do you believe that the world is a safe place? You might have very good reasons for thinking that it is not…abuse is more common than we would like to think…and as children, a lot of people developed the belief that the world is not safe…as a result of abuse, trauma, accidents, loss of a parent or many other reasons.

Despite any events that have happened, the biggest favor you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to believe that yes, the world is safe. When you no longer have that fear, you can let go and let the flow into your life. 

Once that belief is changed, and it can be, you know…even if those events did happen…you can believe that the world is a safe place, for you…in spite of everything…

There are so many things that you can choose to let go of…now…those things that no longer serve you…those beliefs that no longer work…and it’s all up to you…that letting go…and it can be so easy…just do it…now…

“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?”  Sherie Venner

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Sherie

I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

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  • Kai Mott September 19, 2012, 10:00 pm

    Hello Sherie! Your article is really great! You’re a model of excellence.

    “There are so many things that you can choose to let go of…now…those things that no longer serve you…those beliefs that no longer work…and it’s all up to you…that letting go…and it can be so easy…just do it…now…”

    - I LOVE IT!!!

    Letting go of the past is easy as 1,2,3 and a,b,c with NLP and Time Line Therapy®. Agree?

    • Sherie September 20, 2012, 12:16 am

      I do agree, Kai! Thank you for your kind words and for commenting! : D