≡ Menu

Do This to Move Toward Creativity and a Better Relationship

You’ve got one life to live. It is up to you if you live it in a prison of negativity and feeling bad or…you can make the decision to have a different life, one filled to the brim with creativity and great relationships. You can decide, right now, to have a life that is based on feeling good and on feeling happy, in spite of your circumstances.

As we discussed in the last post, motivating yourself through criticism, bribery and manipulation has short term results with long term negative consequences. Those negative consequences are to you, your relationships and your creativity.


A Kinder Way to Motivate Yourself

In the previous post, we talked about the “away from” strategy in NLP; the one where a person motivates themselves by moving “away from” pain. Now, let’s talk about a kinder way, that actually works on many levels to accomplish what you want.

The “towards” motivation is a strategy that has you moving in the direction (towards) of what you want. It doesn’t use negativity to motivate you; it uses positive motivations.

Are you familiar with this story?  A farmer had a little grey donkey. It was a stubborn little donkey and liked to have it’s own way. The farmer needed to have the donkey hitched up to a plough so that he could till the soil. The farmer got the donkey in its harness and stood on the plow. He told the donkey to go and that donkey, well, he just didn’t want to do it. It was hot outside, the sun was beating down and no way did he want to break a sweat doing the farmer’s dirty work.

The farmer didn’t like to do it but he got out his whip and cracked it in the air. The donkey jumped, startled and moved a little bit but not very far. The farmer continued to do that and the donkey was not going to co-operate.

The farmer’s wife saw all of this happening from her view point as she was weeding their very bountiful garden. She strolled over to the farmer, bearing a large bunch of lush orange carrots complete with the most brilliant green carrot tops. She tied them in a bundle and attached them to a stick.The farmer was quite frustrated at the moment and he was speechless as he watched his wife fasten the stick to the donkey’s harness.

The farmer almost fell off the back of the plow because as soon as his wife finished tying the stick with the carrots up, the donkey quickly moved forward. His wife laughed as she watched the donkey lumbering ahead, his head held high, trying to get the luscious carrots dangling in front of his nose. 

…and that is the way you do it…you put something in front of you that is so tempting, so bright, so full of color and life that you MUST go after it…and here is how you find your own “carrots”.

Positive Motivation: A Key Factor in Creativity

There are many ways to motivate yourself through good feelings and positive emotions. Here are a few:

  • Love
  • Happiness
  • Gratitude
  • Visualization

All of these will open up creativity in your life because a brain that is exposed to feel good chemicals through visualization and positive emotions accesses the creative part. This is the place of inspiration where ideas just seem to pop in from no where…yet…they were always there…you just did not have the key to access them…yet…

Your brain will think more quickly instead of being in a stuck state. When that creativity is engaged by good feelings, it is easier to actually visualize what you want. Endorphins are pumped up and life just feels so much better. When you feel better and your creativity is flowing, life is smoother, isn't it?

In that space in your life, relationships flow…disagreements are lessened and those that occur are easily resolved. Make what you want compelling by making the picture of it big…use real pictures, motivational quotes, daydreaming, gratitude journals…whatever is necessary to get those good feelings flowing…

One powerful way is to think of one time in your life when you felt SO good…you know that time…see what you saw, hear what you heard, and FEEL what you felt…and spin it around…and make it bigger, clearer, louder…make it bolder…and squeeze your thumb and first finger together…just like that…then look up and let your fingers go…repeat this process again….then let it go…breathe…

The next time you need to FEEL GOOD, squeeze your thumb and finger together and activate that anchor. Let go of the old way of forcing yourself to do things because you think you must. If they are necessary to accomplish, according to you, find a way to FEEL GOOD about it. A chore that is accomplished in a positive frame of mind is not a chore…is it? Unleash that creativity and see what it brings you in your life and in your relationships…just like that…

“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner

The following two tabs change content below.


I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Lori April 10, 2012, 9:08 pm

    Thanks for this reminder that we need to be a positive motivator to ourselves. So often we motivate others and forget that we need it too! Thanks!

    • Sherie April 10, 2012, 9:30 pm

      You’re welcome, Lori and you are right! Quite often, we are so busy helping others that we forget to take care of ourselves! : D

  • Carol Giambri April 9, 2012, 12:09 pm

    Sherie, loved the carrot-stick story I never heard before. Your “keys” to ideas for positive motivation rocked along with the rest of the post. Thanks.

    • Sherie April 9, 2012, 1:58 pm

      Carol, I am glad that you loved the story…it is an old one that I was happy to share because it has such a great teaching moment in it! Thank you, dear lady!

  • Suzanne Jones April 7, 2012, 8:26 am

    I often forget about the carrot and the stick story. This is a great reminder. I used to use self battery or guilt to motivate myself (not by conscious choice) now I know better, of course… How bad do you want it..that’s what I ask myself now..
    Great tips!

    • Sherie April 7, 2012, 9:28 am

      We can learn a lot from those stories, can’t we? You have come a long way…love it, Suzanne!

  • Stacey Myers April 6, 2012, 7:31 pm

    What a great story! I just need to decide what my carrot is.

    • Sherie April 6, 2012, 8:05 pm

      Absolutely, Stacey! : D

  • Susan Preston April 6, 2012, 7:06 pm

    Love, love, love this article, Sherie. What resonated with me the most was when you wrote about the 4 ways to motivate yourself through good feelings and positive emotions. I use all of them to motivate myself and they work so well. Thank you, for sharing your wealth of knowledge and wisdom! I especially love how every article that you write and even your posts on your social networks all come from your beautiful heart 😉

    • Sherie April 6, 2012, 7:25 pm

      Awww…thank you so much, Susan…I so appreciate your comment, my dear, dear lady!

  • Susan Myers April 6, 2012, 7:46 am

    LOL! Loved the story about the carrots! 🙂

    • Sherie April 6, 2012, 11:16 am

      Thanks, Susan, it is one of my favorite stories! : D

  • Rhonda Uretzky April 5, 2012, 3:49 pm

    A positive anything is better than a negative nothing! The farmer’s wife offer carrots of inspiration while farmer cracked the the whip of motivation….how to tell the difference? Inspiration feels easy like a deep breath (to inspire means to inhale) and the other, called motivation, feels like a hurdle to overcome. When I find myself struggling, I stop and ask, “what feels like relief?” and I follow that carrot of inspiration. At the end, I find total nourishment!

    • Sherie April 5, 2012, 4:45 pm

      What a wonderful insight, Rhonda! Thank you so much for your comment!! : D

  • Tony Taylor April 5, 2012, 2:35 pm

    Great read Sherie, thanks for sharing!

    • Sherie April 5, 2012, 2:35 pm

      Thank you, Tony!

  • Theresa Cifali April 5, 2012, 2:28 pm

    Ha Sherie! I had never heard that story before. I really loved it and it is such a lovely way to demonstrate your point. Thank you for this great inspiration.

    • Sherie April 5, 2012, 2:30 pm

      Theresa, thank you for reading the post and leaving a comment! I appreciate you! Glad you enjoyed the story. : D

  • Sue Glashower April 5, 2012, 2:15 pm

    Love your message Sherie! A positive attitude can make any situation better!

    • Sherie April 5, 2012, 2:17 pm

      Thank you,Sue! Yes, a positive attitude really can make any situation better. Thank you for your comment!

  • denny hagel April 5, 2012, 7:08 am

    This is such a powerful message…one that I hope parents pay attention to while raising their children…Thanks!

    • Sherie April 5, 2012, 9:11 am

      Thank you so much, Denny! I appreciate your comment!

  • Lorii Abela April 5, 2012, 6:39 am

    Excellent post!.. Love all the tips that you’ve shared, Sherie…

    • Sherie April 5, 2012, 9:10 am

      Thank you, Lorii!!

  • Sara April 4, 2012, 9:54 pm

    I have got to remember to anchor!! This is a great post. I’m going to share this with my women’s group.

    • Sherie April 4, 2012, 10:33 pm

      Anchoring rocks, Sara! Yes, remember to do it! Thank you for the lovely comment and I appreciate you sharing the post with your women’s group!

  • Norma Doiron @Living Healthy, Wealthy & Wise April 4, 2012, 6:51 pm

    Tee-hee-hee! Loved the story about the carrots!!! 🙂 Great article. Many great tips, too! x0x

    • Sherie April 4, 2012, 7:46 pm

      It is a favorite of mine, Norma, glad you liked it! Thank you so much for your comment, dear lady!!

  • RJ, the Hope Coach April 4, 2012, 6:46 pm

    You write here of powerful stuff that works to completely transform. Back a couple of decades ago, a mentor taught me NLP before I even knew what it was. I still use some of those anchors. The most important part of it, though, was realizing that liberation of not being tied to those mindless ways of doing or thinking!

    • Sherie April 4, 2012, 7:48 pm

      That is exactly so right, Ronae, it does work to completely transform! Once a person realizes that they are at choice, it so much easier to let go of those ways of thinking that keep them prisoner! Thank you for the comment!!

  • Alexandra McAllister April 4, 2012, 12:01 pm

    Sherie, I love this article! So many great tips, especially the Positive Motivation Keys! YES! Love, Happiness, Gratitude & Visualization are the keys in motivation oneself through good feelings and positive emotions! Excellent advice!

    • Sherie April 4, 2012, 12:24 pm

      Thank you so much, Alexandra!! I appreciate you stopping by, reading the post and leaving this awesome comment!! : D