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When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going…and Create New Dreams

When the going gets tough, the tough get going…and create new dreams.

No. This is not a reference to the Billy Ocean song. : D

When I was born, there were complications.

I was a breech baby and cesareans weren’t common in the hospital where I was born. Instead, the doctor turned me around and using a forceps, pulled me out by the head.

Because of that, I had nerve damage to my face. I had nerve damage to my left leg. The doctor cried. My mother and father were distraught. I was their first child and they expected me to be beautiful and perfect.

So, I smiled crookedly, with only one side of my face responding. I dragged my leg when I was learning to walk. No one told me that I should keep going. I just did.

I was the little girl that my parents found on TOP of the refrigerator, without a chair in sight. There were cupboards, though…: D
Because that is the nature of the human spirit. We keep going…even when the going gets tough…

What Do You Do When the Dream Didn’t Work Out?

We all love having dreams. We like to think about a wonderful future, especially when we are first in a relationship with someone. Then, if that relationship doesn’t work out, we feel hurt…we feel betrayed…we feel deprived of that dream…it’s like someone ripped it from our hands…isn’t it?

The dream that didn’t work out could be another kind of dream as well…it might be the dream of having a child…or of starting a new career…a business…a new home…there are many types of dreams that might not have worked out…

These steps help:

  • Realize that it is over…really over…that dream…
  • Let the past go…because you can’t solve a problem or move forward if you keep yourself in the past asking “What if…”.
  • Set new goals…SMART goals…specific…measurable…aligned with your values…realistic…timed…
  • Dream a new dream…visualize a new future…filled with a bright and joyful life based on what you value…

Starting Over from Scratch

It can be overwhelming to realize that often the best course of action is to start over from scratch. When you know that everyone has had to start at the beginning…at some point in time…you once were a baby who didn’t know how to walk or speak…and yet you did…you did learn, didn’t you?

And when I learned to walk…when I couldn’t walk without dragging my leg…I kept going…because I needed to learn to walk…it was a part of me…and so I did…walk…even though it wasn’t perfect.

And the funny thing is…that today…I walk without a problem…and my smile might be a bit lopsided but not enough for it to be noticeable…because I was lucky…and the brain is more plastic than we used to believe.

So, there are some things that we can overcome…some things that we just do overcome…naturally…others, we need to work at…and remember this:

“Every artist was first an amateur.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Give yourself a break. Even if the dream was one that you really wanted badly…you can keep going…and maybe the new dream will be different…and that’s okay…because we all dream…differently…don’t we?

Go out and be the artist of your own life…dream wonderful dreams…and become excellent at it…that’s right…

“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner

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I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Edmund Lee November 7, 2012, 9:57 am

    I love the story and the insight you shared Sherie! You’re an inspiration. Starting over can be a difficult part in each of our lives, but as humans, there is resiliency as we can adapt, manage, and overcome change, failures, and challenges that we come across. Having the desire, determination, and willingness to succeed is crucial to moving forward.

    • Sherie November 7, 2012, 11:39 am

      Isn’t it incredible how resilient we all are? We can bounce back from so much! Thank you for your lovely comment, Edmund. : D

  • Kim Hawkins November 7, 2012, 4:06 am

    It’s important to realize with dreams, sometimes our needs have changed and in return the dream does too. It’s okay to change our dreams. We need only give ourselves the permission to do so. Great article Sherie!
    Kim Hawkins recently posted..Power of a Praying WifeMy Profile

    • Sherie November 7, 2012, 11:40 am

      Thank you, Kim!

  • Suzanne Jones November 6, 2012, 10:03 pm

    If our dreams don’t work, we can be assured the lessons we have learned in the pursuit will take us to the next level of our new dream! Loved your story, too, thanks for sharing!
    Suzanne Jones recently posted..Take What You Hate About Yourself And Use It To Your AdvantageMy Profile

    • Sherie November 6, 2012, 10:31 pm

      Yes, Suzanne, we can take those lessons and learn and move onwards and upwards! Thanks for reading!

  • Sharon O'Day November 6, 2012, 9:50 am

    I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve reinvented myself, Sherie. And each time it gets better and better. Each reiteration comes out of a new dream, changing the part that didn’t work the time before. Thanks for sharing how the same drive worked for you!
    Sharon O’Day recently posted..Comment on Financial Security: Ode to Selfishness by Alexandra McAllisterMy Profile

    • Sherie November 6, 2012, 12:42 pm

      It’s amazing how much we have in common in these lives that we live, isn’t it? Sharon, I love how it keeps getting better and better!

  • Michael McDonald November 5, 2012, 11:52 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story Sherie. Dreams can change and it’s such a blessing to be able to reach for the new dreams.

    • Sherie November 6, 2012, 12:04 am

      It really is, Michael! I so appreciate you commenting!

  • Meryl Hershey Beck November 5, 2012, 7:05 pm

    I enjoyed this post and thanks for sharing your personal birth story!
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    • Sherie November 5, 2012, 7:12 pm

      I am glad that you enjoyed it, Meryl, thanks for commenting! : D

  • Susan Preston November 4, 2012, 8:38 am

    Love, love, love this article Sherie! You are a brilliant writer 🙂 I have found that when my dreams didn’t come true that in some cases I was dreaming too small and my greatest good was coming to me in an even more Amazing way. Sometimes it can be that our dreams don’t happen as fast as we would like them to, but it may be because we still have a lesson or 2 to still learn or that we aren’t clear on what we really, really want. Thanks 🙂
    Susan Preston recently posted..The Secret In Getting From Where You Are To Where You Want To BeMy Profile

    • Sherie November 4, 2012, 7:18 pm

      Awww…thank you so much for your kind words, sweetie! <3 <3 Yes, sometimes, we don't know what is around the corner, do we, Susan?

  • Rebecca Wardlow November 1, 2012, 12:51 pm

    Love how you included a personal story, and a touching one at that. Life’s all about adapting to change and setting/revising goals to get to where we want to be.
    Rebecca Wardlow recently posted..5 Ways to Boost Your Facebook EdgerankMy Profile

    • Sherie November 1, 2012, 1:04 pm

      Yes, that is what life is all about…thanks so much for your comment, Rebecca,I appreciate you reading the post and your insights!

  • Julie October 31, 2012, 8:37 pm

    What an inspirational story! It’s a great reminder not to let roadblocks and perceived failures stand in the way of true progress. A quote I’ve found great solace in lately is, “when it seems like things are falling apart, they may be falling into place.” That helps me to look at those roadblocks in a positive light and keep charging forward as you have! Thank you!

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 8:38 pm

      What a great quote, Julie! Yes…and I love it when all the pieces start falling into place! Thanks so much for your comment!

  • Elizabeth Maness October 31, 2012, 1:58 pm

    Sometimes life throw us curve balls and it is hard to accept and see that there could be something better out there. But if we allow ourselves to think positive we can turn those hardships into new beginnings and dreams.

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 3:57 pm

      We absolutely can, Elizabeth!

  • Solvita October 31, 2012, 1:49 pm

    Love it my beautiful friend! We are artists of our own life, so great you never lost trust in your amazing abilities. 🙂
    Solvita recently posted..Get Your Power Back in 7 Days and Have Inner PeaceMy Profile

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 3:57 pm

      Awww…thanks, Solvita!!

  • denny hagel October 31, 2012, 11:19 am

    I love this post….so inspiring! Sometimes what we envision is not meant to be…being flexible in life is so important!
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    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 11:32 am

      It is important to be flexible. Thanks, Denny!

  • Carolyn Hughes October 31, 2012, 9:16 am

    I love the example you use of yourself as a child! That’s determination and courage from a very young age! It’s great to have dreams but it’s also good to be realistic about them. You’ve reminded me that dreams aren’t set in stone but we can adapt them as we go along. Thanks Sherie!
    Carolyn Hughes recently posted..Letter to my inner child.My Profile

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 11:48 am

      Carolyn, love that we both wrote about our younger selves, this week! : D The courage of young children is amazing, isn’t it?

  • Amy Marin Carlson October 30, 2012, 9:47 pm

    Sherie, I love SMART goals – why even set goals if we can’t tell if we’re making progress? They also make sense given your advice of moving on here. If your goals are SMART goals, then you’ll have all the evidence you need to decide when to move on.
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    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 11:10 pm

      Right on, Amy! Thanks so much for commenting!!

  • Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com October 30, 2012, 9:03 pm

    This is such a beautiful post, Sherie!! I loved your first step, “Realize that it is over…really over…that dream…”. It really gave me pause and is such a wonderful way of separating “that” dream from a future dream and to realize that hanging onto it, in any form, will stifle the ability to embrace a new one. And I liked your closing, “Give yourself a break.” Failed dreams do not make us failures. Thanks for this!
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    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 11:09 pm

      Lisa, I so appreciate your insights and you are right…”failed dreams do not make us failures”…absolutely!

  • Cathy Taughinbaugh October 30, 2012, 7:17 pm

    Hi Sherie,

    You are definitely a survivor, and a great role model for the rest of us. Life doesn’t always give you exactly what you want, but with determination you can make it work for you. Thanks for sharing your story.
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    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 11:09 pm

      Cathy, I really appreciate you reading it! I believe that we all have something to overcome, whether we are aware of it or not…: D

  • Lorrie October 30, 2012, 1:15 pm

    Isn’t it wonderful how things circle back around. Sometimes we think of something as loss or failure only to find that one day it is in our lives with a more powerful presence.

    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 2:12 pm

      Love that way of thinking, Lorrie!

  • BarbaraJPeters October 30, 2012, 11:12 am

    Great post Sherie. Sometimes we just have to let go and begin again with a new dream and plan for success. Hanging on sometimes actually holds us back when we need to move foreard in our lives. Letting go and trusting that something better will come along is very valuable.

    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 2:12 pm

      Absolutely, Barbara! Thanks so much for your comment, dear!

  • Ruth Hegarty October 30, 2012, 11:04 am

    Oh Sherie, I love this post. I had the “opportunity” to start my life over from scratch this past year and everything you say here is so right on!
    Ruth Hegarty recently posted..Want to know the right answer to all your questions?My Profile

    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 2:13 pm

      It can be an amazing opportunity, can’t it, Ruth? : D

  • Olga Hermans October 30, 2012, 9:53 am

    I love your title Sherie; there are times in our life that it is hard to not give up and to keep going.
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    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 2:13 pm

      Thank you so much, Olga…yes…

  • Alexandra McAllister October 30, 2012, 9:37 am

    Thanks for sharing your story, Sherie. I also believe if the dream didn’t work out there is always another one. We just keep doing and dreaming. Sending you lots of hugs! I also have a crooked smile…because of a stroke a few months back. :o)
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    • Sherie October 30, 2012, 2:14 pm

      Thank goodness the brain is more forgiving than we used to think, right, Alexandra? Big hugs, back!!

  • Dawn Lanier October 29, 2012, 4:02 pm

    I really enjoyed this post Sherie, and I’m sure it will help many people. Sometimes it is important to ‘dream a new dream’ so you can move forward. Thank you for sharing your story – it made your post that much more valuable.
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    • Sherie October 29, 2012, 7:19 pm

      Dawn, thank you for reading it and for your kind words! : D