“Please” and “Thank you” are more than good manners in a relationship. In a recent post that I wrote on the 7 Warning Signs You Are Being Taken for Granted, I suggested that the absence of these words, “please” and “thank you”, were one of those warning signs.
Let’s imagine a relationship between two people…let’s call them Mike and Sally. They have been together for three years and both of them believe that they are meant to be together. Lately, though, Sally has been very short with Mike. For example, Sally says to him on garbage night “Take out the garbage. It has to be put out tonight.”
When Sally talks to Mike like this, she isn’t being respectful, is she? There is a spirit of ordering Mike around…when you say, “Please”, it adds a measure of respect to the request.
Words have Power
Words do have power. Words can create feelings, words can create our reality…words reveal our past and where we are in the present. And because words have power, “please” and “thank you “are powerful words. They are not just pleasantries, niceties…those words that we think we hear all the time…
They convey that the person we are speaking to is important. It might not seem that way, since in some instances we hear it so often that they are words that we take for granted. Just because you hear them from a sales clerk as she takes your credit card…and you might hear it from a waiter as they collect a tip that you have left them…does not mean that they are not important words.
Words of Acknowledgement
Please and thank you are words of acknowledgement. When you use them, you are recognizing the action of the person…and recognition of a person you have a relationship with is critical. Each day, there needs to be acknowledgement. Otherwise, you take those actions and that person for granted, don’t you?
Just because the garbage needs to be taken out, doesn’t mean that Sally should talk to Mike like that. So, “Please, could you take the garbage out?” is a more harmonious way to approach the task at hand and it shows respect to Mike, as a person.
“To say thank you, is in recognition of humanity” Toni Mont
Recognize those small things…
Saying Thank You is Expressing Gratitude
At its simplest terms, saying thank you is one way of expressing gratitude to the person you are in relationship with. A truly heart felt “thank you” can convey a depth of emotion that is unparalled…for isn’t all love based on a gratitude, a thankfulness for the existence of the other person?
When was the last time that you actually said to someone “Thank you for being you” and you really meant it?
“I find that the more willing I am to be grateful for the small things in life, the bigger stuff just seems to show up from unexpected sources, and I am constantly looking forward to each day with all the surprises that keep coming my way!” Louise L. Hay
Open yourself up to more surprises in your life…in all of your relationships…expand upon saying “please” and “thank you” and being aware of the emotions that come up when you actually feel the impact that those powerful words have. It is a very simple strategy…and you know…sometimes…those simple strategies…the small things…can be the ones that have the most impact…try it and see…just what happens…
“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner
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