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Is Worry Stealing Your Confidence?

Imagine this.Let go of that worry and enjoy the now The holidays are looming and you have a party coming up. It might be a party that you are planning or it might just be an important party that you have been invited to.

You start to worry. What if no one comes? What if the food isn’t good enough? Or if it is a party you’ve been invited to, you start to think thoughts like these…”What if no one talks to me?” “What if I’m there all alone?” or possibly “What if I spill something on my clothes or make a fool of myself?”

That worry is worry that is self-directed. It has been created in your mind.

Getting Rid of Worry

So what exactly is worry? This is the way that it has been explained to me: Worry is thinking about a negative outcome of an event in the future and creating fear about that event. That sounds just about right, doesn’t it?

So if you have a tendency to worry…especially about things that you have no control over…then…instead of imagining the worst case scenario, think about a positive outcome. That isn’t always as easy as it sounds, though.

Filling the Void with Confidence

When there is the state of worry, the natural consequence of that is having no confidence. Who would feel confident about an event that they were worried about? That’s right…no one…if you’re worried, you are definitely not in a confident frame of mind.

So, in addition to imagining a positive outcome, think of a time when you felt super confident…a time when you felt that you could conquer the world…that’s right…

See what you saw, feel what you felt and hear what you heard…and when that feeling of confidence is very strong, use a word…a word that has meaning to you…say a word like “strong”…whatever you choose…a word that you don’t use often…you can even make one up…that’s right…

Then imagine that scene again…and make it bigger and brighter…put life into it…just like you were right there, experiencing it again, in full color, with all of the sights and sounds…and say that word that you chose again…

Then, if you happen to need it…when you say that word again…with the same intensity that you used it when you were thinking of that time…all of those emotions will come back…and you will feel confident…

When you get rid of a belief or a negative state, there is a void left. Fill it with something positive…and watch for the change in your life…

“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?”  Sherie Venner

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I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

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  • Edmund Lee October 23, 2012, 5:11 pm

    Yes, a positive mind cast away worries and fears. It allows us to conquer the world and put things in a proper perspective. =)

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 5:18 pm

      It really does, Edmund!

  • Meryl Hershey Beck October 22, 2012, 7:53 pm

    I liked doing that exercise, Sherie. Thanks so much!

    • Sherie October 22, 2012, 8:23 pm

      Meryl, I am so glad that you did! You’re welcome! : D

  • Susan Preston October 21, 2012, 3:39 pm

    Love, love, love this Sherie! You are so brilliant as what you do and are an Amazing writer. I especially liked when you wrote, “When you get rid of a belief or a negative state, there is a void left. Fill it with something positive…and watch for the change in your life…” That is so true and such great advise!
    Susan Preston recently posted..I Needed A Mindset CoachMy Profile

    • Sherie October 21, 2012, 5:28 pm

      Susan, such kind, kind words…thank you SO much! I really appreciate you! <3 <3

  • Suzanne Jones October 20, 2012, 9:26 am

    I love this Sherie. It works. I was a huge worrier and still need at times to use techniques to rid myself of them.
    Suzanne Jones recently posted..What Part Of Your Story Keeps You Stuck?My Profile

    • Sherie October 20, 2012, 9:36 am

      It really does work, doesn’t it, Suzanne? : D

  • Sally K Witt October 19, 2012, 12:49 am

    What a nice post, Sherie. Worry can be so destructive!

    • Sherie October 19, 2012, 9:20 am

      It really can! Thanks, Sally!

  • Sara Nickleberry October 18, 2012, 9:15 pm

    I’m a recovering worrier 🙂 I like the word association tip!

    • Sherie October 18, 2012, 9:42 pm

      Thanks, Sara! : D

  • denny hagel October 18, 2012, 5:33 am

    Love this article! My mother used to say ‘nothing good will come from worrying, all things good come from faith’…sometimes easier said than done but always the truth!
    denny hagel recently posted..Tantrums, Acting Out and Attitude: How You Can Diffuse Them!My Profile

    • Sherie October 18, 2012, 10:54 am

      A very good point, Denny, thanks for your comment!

  • Estelle October 17, 2012, 9:23 pm

    “Worry is thinking about a negative outcome of an event in the future and creating fear about that event “- so true, I find myself doing this – projecting or what I call-playing out the scene when I have no idea what really will happen – thanks for sharing!!!
    Estelle recently posted..Visioning – A Transformative Process to Help You Achieve Your DreamsMy Profile

    • Sherie October 17, 2012, 9:31 pm

      Yes, projecting a negative future causes so much worry! Thanks so much for your comment, Estelle! : D

  • Elizabeth Maness October 17, 2012, 1:38 pm

    Great post. Worrying causes us so much unnecessary stress. I get so much going on that I begin to worry about getting it all done but I find that there is always a way. Great tips!

    • Sherie October 17, 2012, 3:04 pm

      Worrying does cause stress! Thanks so much for your comment, Elizabeth!

  • Kim Hawkins October 17, 2012, 10:29 am

    If permitted, worry can suck the life right out of a person. Focusing on the positive stuff (rather than a list of possibilities that most likely will not happen) is a much better choice. I love your genuine, no-nonsense approach Sherie.
    Kim Hawkins recently posted..Being A Positive Wife Is…My Profile

    • Sherie October 17, 2012, 3:05 pm

      Awww….Kim, thanks so much! I really appreciate your insights, dear! : D

  • Carolyn Hughes October 17, 2012, 5:13 am

    I know I shouldn’t worry, but I do. I can even worry that I’m worrying! So this is a great reminder to let it go and put something positive into my void. Thanks Sherie!
    Carolyn Hughes recently posted..Happily Ever After.My Profile

    • Sherie October 17, 2012, 9:24 am

      You’re very welcome, Carolyn. : D

  • Terressa Cortez October 16, 2012, 5:46 pm

    I am one serious worrier and am trying to correct this. Worrying can play havic on your mind and yes steals your confidence ! Great post 🙂 Thank you for the reminder.

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 5:56 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it!

  • Cathy Taughinbaugh October 16, 2012, 3:28 pm

    Hi Sherie,

    Great post and reminder that worry doesn’t help us in any capacity. I like your idea of imagining a positive outcome. When we build our confidence before hand, it is more likely to produce positive results.
    Cathy Taughinbaugh recently posted..Life Lessons From My Dog about Serenity, Joy and Living in the MomentMy Profile

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 4:35 pm

      Cathy, thanks for your kind words…thinking of you and your dog…

  • Ruth Hegarty October 16, 2012, 3:10 pm

    Great advice, Sherie. So much of what we worry about is never going to happen so replacing that useless energy drain with confidence gives a double-whammy of positive energy. Thanks for the great confidence building exercise.
    Ruth Hegarty recently posted..5 Important Things Kids Can Teach You About Growing Your BusinessMy Profile

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 4:35 pm

      You’re welcome, Ruth, thank you for reading the post and commenting!

  • Alexandra McAllister October 16, 2012, 12:47 pm

    Great post, Sherie. Yes, worry does steal confidence. ‘Filling the void with confidence’ is excellent!! Thank you so much. It’s a wonderful reminder.
    Alexandra McAllister recently posted..“I Still Think Network Marketing is a Pyramid Scheme.” Sound Familiar?My Profile

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 1:22 pm

      You’re welcome, Alexandra, thanks for your comment, dear!

  • Norma Doiron October 16, 2012, 12:32 pm

    Worry is a life & joy-stealer. This is something that every person deal with to some extent. I’ve had my moments, too. 🙂 Great post, great tips. Thanks!
    Norma Doiron recently posted..Top Keys to Fire Up Your Blogging Audience Response, Part 2My Profile

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 1:21 pm

      Appreciate you commenting, Norma, thanks!

  • Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com October 16, 2012, 11:11 am

    This is awesome – thanks so much, Sherie. Something I’ve done in the past is schedule time to worry – actually make an appointment on my calendar. During that time slot, I go through all the “what-ifs” and then calendar action items as necessary and then I’m done – no more worrying allowed (until the next scheduled appointment :)!).
    Lisa Frederiksen – BreakingTheCycles.com recently posted..Alcohol Abuse Going On in the Family? – If Only My Doctor Had AskedMy Profile

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 1:21 pm

      Great idea, Lisa! : D

  • BarbaraJPeters October 16, 2012, 10:59 am

    Great article Sherie. Worrying does not accomplish anything but create more worry and fear. It robs us of living the lives we were created to live, taking away the joys that we can experience even in tough times.

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 1:21 pm

      Exactly, Barbara! : D Thank you!

  • Martha Giffen October 16, 2012, 9:18 am

    There’s a technique I learned from my friend Mindy Audlin, who wrote the book, “What If It All Goes Right.” It’s called the what-if-up exercise. You just imagine your outcomes being the most spectacular ever and focus on that. “What if nobody comes” turns into “What if this party is so well-attended people ASK me next time to include them on my list?” Make sense? it’s fun!
    Martha Giffen recently posted..Online Social Influence Has Gone CrazyMy Profile

    • Sherie October 16, 2012, 9:21 am

      Cool exercise, Martha! Thanks for your comment!

  • Dawn Lanier October 15, 2012, 2:42 pm

    Really nice post Sherie. Worry does steal confidence. Visualizing a positive outcome is so much more motivating and it helps remove the other by product of worry – hesitancy. Very well done!
    Dawn Lanier recently posted..The Top 30 Places to Find Great QuotesMy Profile

    • Sherie October 15, 2012, 2:48 pm

      Dawn,it really can! Thanks so much for your kind words! : D