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Stop Those Feelings of Helplessness! Discover 5 Easy Ways to Overcome

Helplessness…Make the best use of what is in your power

Have you ever felt like just giving up?

You know that helpless feeling you get…when you believe that no matter what you do…it just doesn’t matter…things will never change…

I’ve been there…in the past…felt so stuck that I thought that I would lose my very soul in the mire that I was in…I felt those feelings of  helplessness…absolutely unable to do anything…and that was a long time ago…

The Problem with Feeling Helpless

When we feel helpless, we don’t realize that we have control of our own lives. I know that is how I felt…and it’s a shame really…because we really aren’t helpless…we just think we are.

Because of events that happened in our past…and the things we allowed others to tell ourselves…we thought we no control over our own lives…that we were powerless..and that’s where those feelings…those feelings of helplessness came from…

And we only thought that way…it wasn’t real…even though it felt real. We only ever needed to step up to the plate and claim that power…it was there all along, wasn’t it?

When I felt helpless about the situation I was in, I could see that other people had what I wanted in their lives…and yet I didn’t have it…I had a deep rooted belief that they could have it…but I couldn’t…that no matter what I did…it was just out of reach…that life that I wanted to have…so desperately.

Being Grateful? My Dynamite Situation

When you are overcome by feelings of helplessness, the last thing that you want to do is feel grateful…and because of that…it is the first thing you should do. Gratitude is a simple thing but it’s not always easy.

If you are struggling…and you’re knee deep in a relationship that doesn’t support you…one that may even be hurting you…what do you think there is to be grateful for?

You’re alive

If you’re reading this…you are…ALIVE…and if that is all you can be grateful for…it’s enough…

When I was in university, we had the opportunity to do prospecting for our summer work. We went in small groups of four or five and we got dropped off in the northern wilderness of Manitoba to search for uranium.

It was really a fascinating experience, especially the time when our camp was destroyed by a bear. It came and ripped apart the cooking tent while we were away mapping and collecting rock samples. Fortunately, we were gone when it came and tore those supplies apart.

One of our trainers came up to visit and teach us how to use dynamite, to get some samples. Nick was a grizzled old prospector, in his seventies…and he was a patient man.

I was young…just 17…and not very patient…and I complained bitterly about being there…in the hot sun…learning how to correctly light dynamite.

Nick turned to me and said this…and I have never forgotten it…he said “Every day above ground is a good day”…and he was right…

No matter what we are going through…if we just hang onto that idea…that because we are alive…it’s a good day.

Even if we are in pain…physical pain or emotional pain…and emotional pain can be just as painful as some of the worst physical pain…we need to keep going…just because…and be grateful…to be alive…to have the opportunity to live another day…to fight for ourselves another day…


Overcoming Those Feelings of Helplessness that Kept You Stuck

“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.” Epictetus

 You might not know what to do yet. You might have feelings of helplessness… But it won’t last…because you have the capacity to learn…to discover…all that is you…and that you is so capable…

These 5 Ways: You Don’t Need to Feel Helpless…Anymore…Step into that Power…

  1. When you take responsibility for your life…then a corner is turned…and that feeling of helplessness…it just fades away…
  2. Take stock of where you really are…a reality check might show you that you have more resources than you think you do…make a list…write it down….
  3. Stop magnifying the emotions of helplessness….shrink them down…laugh them off…make them insignificant in your mind…
  4. Focus on where you have succeeded…in all of those small ways…
  5. Look to a future of possiblities and make those big…bright…full of happy and wonderful sights and sounds…and feel those feelings…of joy…and excitement for that future…

There is light at the end of that tunnel…and remember…to let go of all of those feelings of helplessness…because they don’t serve you, do they? Find those feelings that do serve you…and give them priority in your mind…

“Drive your own life, you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner


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I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Red November 24, 2013, 8:19 pm

    This is garbage. It does not address feelings of helplessness and despair caused by past or present abuse. Abused people are NEVER responsible for what happens to them! And focusing on “successes” and “gratitude” will not eliminate the feeling that you could be mugged, raped or killed tomorrow. Helplessness is very frequently connected to hypervigilance and unresolved trauma. Don’t sugarcoat it.

    • Sherie November 24, 2013, 9:14 pm

      Taking responsibility for your life, where you are now, does not mean taking blame for what happened. It NEVER means taking blame. As a person who has survived abuse and trauma, myself, it wasn’t until I felt powerful and in charge of my own life, that I was able to turn a corner and take my life back. It’s just a matter of perspective. When you take your power back, you can make changes. Feeling like you are a victim keeps a person stuck. For people with severe trauma, there needs to be assistance to deal with the trauma. That is not a road to go on alone.
      Sherie recently posted..If You Can Do This Like A Navy Seal, Then You Can Knock Out StressMy Profile

  • ed May 25, 2013, 7:24 pm

    hi Sherie, I understand the feeling of helplessness. It’s a terrible feeling. It saps away all my focus and energy. At the end of the day, the feeling does not 1 bit of good. I’m in a new country and have been sending out countless job applications but few responses. The thought of “what’s the use” keeps crossing my mind when I search for work. Then suddenly I get called for an interview and I am elated thinking I’m going to get it. But I don’t get the job and the wave of hopelessness comes again.

    I think being grateful works better for me than just being aware of negative thoughts. It sort of distracts and focuses the mind elsewhere.

  • Edmund Lee ( January 30, 2013, 4:54 am

    Oh yes, most definitely. Feeling grateful is one of the most difficult things to do during times of ‘feeling stuck’. However, it’s also the most useful.
    Edmund Lee ( recently posted..How Content Can Help You Attract and Grow a Loyal Fan BaseMy Profile

  • Vicky January 30, 2013, 2:44 am

    Wonderful article Sherie. Thank you for sharing your insight.

  • Suzanne Jones January 28, 2013, 1:32 pm

    This is an excellent post Sherie. I too have been there and at times could not see my way out. Everything is a choice and we must allow ourselves to go back on past wins and bring back those feelings while pushing the bad ones away. We tend to keep the painful stuff front and center in our minds when it should be in the back where they belong.
    Suzanne Jones recently posted..This May Come As A Surprise But You CAN Change Your Thoughts..My Profile

    • Sherie January 28, 2013, 9:35 pm

      Absolutely, Suzanne! Thanks so much for your comment,kind words and insights!
      Sherie recently posted..These 5 Favorite Trust QuotesMy Profile

  • Bonnie Squires January 25, 2013, 6:24 pm

    Hi Sherie

    I’m so glad Anita Fiander posted
    your link on face book .

    I’ve been feeling helpless for awhile
    because of my health problems and
    this is just what i needed to hear and
    the kick I needed to start trying again.

    Thanks so much Sherie for this blog post.
    Bonnie Squires recently posted..Help Katie Go To NJ To Help Hurricane Sandy PeopleMy Profile

  • Anita January 25, 2013, 5:20 pm

    Yes to this one and taking responsibility for our life! What a great message and I think it’s one that often needs repeated for us humans 🙂
    Anita recently posted..Self Motivation and Fulfilling Your AspirationsMy Profile

  • Helena Bowers January 24, 2013, 7:23 pm

    These are excellent points Sherie! Helplessness is a choice, and we can either choose to wallow in it, or get up and do something about it. I love your tips at the end, especially the one to focus on your successes. Sometimes that’s all it takes, is the reminder that you have been successful at something.
    Helena Bowers recently posted..5 Tips for Getting More Traffic To Your BlogMy Profile

  • denny hagel January 23, 2013, 3:11 pm

    Excellent Sherie! Trusting that all will be well, not always exactly as I would like it but good just the same gives me great inner peace…which in itself is priceless! Thanks for sharing your amazing insights!
    denny hagel recently posted..Awakened Parenting’s TOP 5 Parenting TipsMy Profile

  • Jamie January 21, 2013, 4:37 pm

    Love this article =) It resonates within. Yes, there have been times of feeling “helplessness,” but as of late, I no longer recognize those feelings within myself, but observe it through others. And during those times, I am reminded how important it is to lift them up and help them to see their worth.
    Jamie recently posted..Book: Return on Relationships #RonR #cbiasMy Profile

  • Norma Doiron January 21, 2013, 4:27 pm

    What a great share! I can see how it would work. Thanks!
    Norma Doiron recently posted..Visitors Are Window Shopping on Your BlogMy Profile

  • elizabeth maness January 21, 2013, 1:18 pm

    I love to read your work Sherie! I feel like you write just for me! I am writing there down. I do get that feeling of helplessness about situations… Thanks for all the great advice!
    elizabeth maness recently posted..SEO and Website Content – It’s So Easy To Miss the Forrest for the Trees.My Profile

  • Catherine Doucette January 21, 2013, 1:17 pm

    Gratitude is always a good place to start 🙂

  • Karla Campos January 21, 2013, 1:04 pm

    I think that it is very important for people to take responsibility for their own lives, I make a great effort to teach this to my kids on a daily basis. I am very glad that you wrote about it because there are many adults stuck in this helpless mentality and they need to wake up and make their lives amazing because they do have the power to do so.

    • Sherie January 22, 2013, 8:25 pm

      It is so important, Karla and you are such an awesome Mom teaching that to your kids on a daily basis. Right on! Our world would look a lot different if more parents did that…the power always lies within…
      Sherie recently posted..Feelings of Helplessness? These 5 Ways to OvercomeMy Profile

  • Alexandra McAllister January 21, 2013, 9:16 am

    Thank you, Sherie. I believe everyone has had those days where they feel helpless. Your “These 5 Way” is an excellent way to get back up on our feet! I especially like: #4 Focus on where you have succeeded…in all of those small ways…
    Alexandra McAllister recently posted..Moms, How Do You Pamper Yourself?My Profile

  • Eva Blaskovic January 20, 2013, 10:05 pm

    Very good “ways.” And I really like your story behind it about the prospecting and Nick’s patience and wisdom: “‘Every day above ground is a good day’…and he was right…”

  • Rob Hodgins January 20, 2013, 9:13 pm

    “These 5 Ways”

    Simple. Elegant. And they work!