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Are You Afraid of Your True Self?


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." Marianne Williamson

When you look in the mirror, do you see someone whom you love deeply, completely?  Do you look at yourself and acknowledge the miracle that you are?

mirroring the true self

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. . .

Who is the fairest of them all? If you are like most people who have been exposed to media over the years, you probably see what you perceive to be flaws. . .skin that is not perfect, teeth that may need work, wrinkles, sun damage, a face that is too round, or too thin, or doesn’t meet the standard of beauty that the media tells us is the right look.

I know a girl…her name is Sally…and Sally, when she looks in the mirror, hears a voice inside her head. . .a voice that calls her names.  She has lived with this voice for so long that she no longer is aware of it, it operates just under her awareness. Yet, Sally feels the effect of it.  

When she drags herself out of bed in the morning, she does not do it with enthusiasm.  She walks slowly to her bathroom and avoids looking at the disheveled woman in the mirror.  When she goes to brush her teeth, she criticizes herself, chastises herself for not being younger, prettier, shapely.  If it is a really bad hair day, she tells herself that she can’t compare to her friend Jillian.

Sally goes out to face the day and she does it with an energy pattern of self criticism and loathing.  She wonders why things don’t turn out for her and doesn’t believe that there is much use in trying to change her life.  She has tried before and failed.

What Sally does not know, is that she is defeated before she even starts.  Even if the origin of the voices was a real event in the past, she is the decider, the chooser who allows it to continue. Sally does have  a choice.  She can choose to see herself as she really is, a miracle, because all life on this planet is a miracle.

Changing How You See The Reflection in the Mirror

Imagine that you are alone, with no distractions; the phones are turned off, the television is silent and the internet is asleep for the moment. . . close your eyes and feel the still, peace of the moment, as you sit there. . .in that chair. . .if you could imagine that right in front of you was the person who loved you the most in the world.

The person who accepted you for who you are. . .was right there. . .and if you can’t imagine that. . .pretend. . .that’s right. . .that such a person exists…because they do. . .see them looking at you with love radiating out from them. . .see the love in their eyes. . .and feel it. . .

Imagine that you can step into their experience and that you can see yourself through their eyes. . .see yourself looking back at you, through the eyes of love…feel all that love…take it all in… imagine stepping back into your experience …coming back to now. . .how do you feel?  Have you brought all of that love back with you?  Because you can, you know. . .it was there all along. . .just waiting for you. . . 

It is a simple exercise and if you do this, when you look in the mirror, the voices of your inner critic will fade and be replaced by love. Because the inner critic is just you, isn’t it?

When negative beliefs are eliminated in our lives, we are just uncovering the self. We are letting it breathe, free from the damaging overlay of negativity that has laid over us for years. The true self can break free from those patterns. . .and then, we can move forward, into the light that was ours all along.

"Drive your own life. . .you deserve to, don't you?" Sherie Venner

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I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Rob Hodgins January 12, 2012, 7:39 am

    Wow, Sherie! I haven’t given much thought to people being afraid of themselves (or controlled by a critic-within). Thank you for the heads-up on that one.

    I like the solution that you provide: “Imagine that you can step into their experience and that you can see yourself through their eyes”. This puts people in control of how they look at themselves. Bravo!

    • Sherie January 12, 2012, 12:54 pm

      It is unfortunate that a lot of people are critical of themselves, more than others would even think to be of them….thank you for your comment, Rob, I appreciate it! The solution is an easy one and it might be all someone needs…