For Mothers Day, I wrote a post about my favorite mothers day quotes. As this Fathers Day approaches, my heart turns to my own dad…a wonderful man…whose greatest gift to me was this…
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”- Jim Valvano
My dad is a quiet man who was raised in a time where men didn’t show their emotions readily. He was the one who rushed to the hospital on a bitterly, cold day when the wind whipped off of a cold Manitoba lake. He had been on the parade ground, at an Air Force base where he was stationed.
He arrived shortly after my birth and in spite of my battered and bruised appearance, loved me…right from the start…even though I had injuries from the birth, he fussed over me, carried me, fed me and nurtured both my mom and I as we both recovered.
And he believed in me and in fact, still does…and there is power in believing in someone…especially when it is your child. When you believe in your child, deep down inside, they know…even when times are tough…that someone important…someone besides themselves believes in them…
The Importance of Fathers
A good father is just as important as a good mother…neither parent is more important… they are equally important. Children need good mothers and children need good fathers, whether the parents live together or live separately…
What makes a father a good father?
An ability to listen without judging
An ability to have real fun
An ability to know when to help and when to step aside
An ability to love deeply and express that love in meaningful and appropriate ways, ways that are meaningful to his child
An ability to laugh at his own frailties and a willingness to admit them and change them
An ability to be there for his child without it being a hindrance to the child’s development (that is a fine line)
An ability to accept his child…even if the child chooses a different path than the one he would have wanted for him/her
An ability to see the magnificence in his child, that brilliant spark of life that has been put in his care
An ability to believe in your child, to see all those possibilities and do so without pressuring the child…just believe…
My other favorite Fathers Day quote is this one:
“When my father didn’t have my hand….he had my back.”- Linda Poindexter
It is critical for your child to know that you have their back…that they can come to you in a time of need…whether that need is emotional or not…can you imagine what it is like for a child to know that when they are in trouble, they can count on their father? Be there…let them know that they can always count on you…
Fathers…Don’t Be Afraid to Truly Love your Children
“I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate – it’s apathy. It’s not giving a damn” ~Leo Buscaglia
Give a damn…let your children know that they are loved…even if it is hard for you to express it…find out what your children need in order to know that they are loved…
Do they need to be told that they are loved?
Do they need to be taken places, like the zoo or the movies or fishing or for a walk?
Do they need small gifts (usually when they are young children, this one works well)…like a small toy or a candy bar or a balloon?
Do they need a hug?
Do they need to have a story read to them at night and a reassurance that there are no monsters under the bed?
Ask them…they will let you know…and if your children are older, your role shifts in their life and they still need to know that you love them.
Your children are important and fathers are important. Be important together…and have an awesome Fathers Day…celebrate your fathers and if you are a father, celebrate being one…it is a great gift that you have been given…take care of it…thank you Dad, for believing in me and in having my back…I love you…and Happy Father’s Day!
“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner
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