≡ Menu

Uncovering the Real Truth about Your Limiting Beliefs

I had anWhen you discover what those limiting beliefs were you can let them go interesting question on a comment last week from Tess. She asked “I am wondering how to tell what your limiting beliefs are?”.

My reply to Tess was this…

“Tess, that is a very good question and I think that it would be a good idea to write a post about that, since the answer can be complex. For a lot of people it can be simple to determine what the limiting belief is.

For example, notice the language that you are using. Actually listen. Have you ever noticed people who say “Oh, I’m just stupid” when they’ve made a mistake. They say that in a highly charged emotional moment. Now, from there, you can “guess” what the limiting belief is.

However, for a lot of people, if there is an issue that is deep, the unconscious mind keeps the real limiting belief hidden and it often takes some work to uncover what the root cause of problems is.

Especially if there has been a highly charged emotional event that caused the limiting belief in the beginning. Does that make sense to you? So, there are questions that can be asked, starting with what the problem is…and moving through different levels…down…to the root cause. Once the root cause is determined, then it can be eliminated.”

One of the Ways to Discover What Limiting Beliefs are Holding You Back

As I mentioned in my reply to Tess, it can sometimes be very simple. You just know what the limiting belief is. ..and for some people…they even know what caused it. But what if you don’t?

If you have already discovered what your values are…and you take a good look at your life…and see if the life you live is aligned with those core values. If for example, one of your core values is family and a close relationship…and you don’t have that…then, you need to ask some questions to see why you haven’t allowed that into your life…yet.

  1. Look at your values (freedom, family, finances, loyalty, trust, love, etc.)
  2. What do you want? What exactly?
  3. Why do you want it?
  4. Do you REALLY want it?
  5. If the answer is yes….then…
  6. Imagine having it…what does it look like…what does it feel like…what does it sound like….
  7. Then double that…make the picture brighter and bigger, the sounds louder and clearer, the feelings stronger and deeper….
  8. THEN…..what happens next? Watch for this…it can be tricky…
  9. Is there a voice that you hear inside of your mind saying something like “No, you can’t do/have/be that…” or another negative statement? Or is there a thought…or is there a feeling of no…
  10. What is that? Look/listen/feel what thoughts come up…usually, that is the limiting belief.

What Does a Limiting Belief Look Like?

A limiting belief usually comes in the form of an identity level statement…such as “I AM ______________”. Fill in the blanks…not worthy…worthless…helpless…unlovable…a loser…a failure…there is no end to what a limiting belief can be, is there?

And here is the thing…you don’t need to keep any of those limiting negative beliefs because they are lies…they are a LIE-ability…that’s right…

Even though those limiting beliefs lie hidden from us…the other than conscious mind really wants the best for us…and so if you have a limiting belief or maybe more than one ; D, usually the purpose behind it is to protect you, in some way…even if it doesn’t really…

So when you are ready to discover those limiting beliefs…you can…and they can go…you can let them go…can’t you? As I mentioned to Tess, sometimes, when there is a trauma or a big negative event, the unconscious mind doesn’t reveal what those limiting beliefs are easily…

If you give this exercise a go, it should work for those limiting beliefs that are close to the surface. For other beliefs, the deeply rooted hidden ones…well…they might need a bit of a helping hand to be brought to life…in a safe place…

“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner

P.S. Special thanks to Tess for her courage in asking this question!

The following two tabs change content below.


I am a Relationship Coach who helps others create happy, healthy, loving relationships…including the relationship they have with themselves…by breaking through those blocks and barriers to success. I use various techniques gathered through training as a Master Practitioner of NLP, timeline, hypnosis and common sense gathered through life experience.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Edmund Lee October 31, 2012, 1:34 pm

    I like it when you said that limiting beliefs are LIE-ability! Indeed it is! It takes away from what we really are, potentially paralyzing us, resulting in us carrying around baggage everywhere we go, afraid to explore the beauty of the world and the beauty within ourselves.

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 3:57 pm

      Right on, Edmund, that is it exactly!

  • Dave Felton October 31, 2012, 9:43 am

    Nice article. Found you through Twitter.

    Many folks go through life with all sorts of negative baggage (beliefs), sometimes these beliefs are more obvious to others than the person themselves.

    Any steps to deal with this inner negativity is a good thing. I applaud your efforts.

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 11:32 am

      Dave, thanks so much for dropping by from Twitter! : D Yes, you are right, many people do go through life with lots of negative baggage and they don’t need to, it can be gotten rid of, more easily than most people think. I really appreciate your comment, thanks again for reading the post and commenting. : D

  • Marie Leslie October 31, 2012, 8:28 am

    Thanks for this post, Sherie. This is definitely something I need to spend a little more time pondering on and figuring out so I can be unstuck.
    Marie Leslie recently posted..Getting Started with Public SpeakingMy Profile

    • Sherie October 31, 2012, 11:47 am

      If you need any help, let me know, Marie. : D

  • Mandy Edwards October 28, 2012, 8:04 pm

    Limiting beliefs can only hurt us. That you for a wonderful post to change that!
    Mandy Edwards recently posted..Social Media Q and A, Episode 16: How Often Should I Post?My Profile

    • Sherie October 28, 2012, 8:05 pm

      Mandy,thanks so much for commenting! Yes, limiting beliefs can only hurt us and get in the way of what we really want to accomplish.

  • Meryl Hershey Beck October 28, 2012, 7:29 pm

    Nice job explaining limiting beliefs. Thanks, Sherie!

    • Sherie October 28, 2012, 7:53 pm

      I appreciate that, Meryl, thank you!

  • Sara Nickleberry October 27, 2012, 10:50 am

    Sometimes I still struggle with this. It can be such a hinderance to my professional growth. I have to remind myself from time to time to change how I think about things.

    • Sherie October 27, 2012, 11:55 am

      One step at a time, Sara, and then before you know it…you’re there…

  • Susan Preston October 27, 2012, 10:41 am

    Love this article, Sherie! I especially liked when you wrote, “And here is the thing…you don’t need to keep any of those limiting negative beliefs because they are lies…they are a LIE-ability…that’s right…” So very true. It is amazing at the results that one has when they can release those limiting beliefs! Thanks!
    Susan Preston recently posted..I Needed A Mindset CoachMy Profile

    • Sherie October 27, 2012, 11:54 am

      Absolutely, Susan! So appreciate your comment!

  • Suzanne Jones October 26, 2012, 6:23 am

    Sherie this is one of my favorite topics. I don’t think people understand just how powerful limiting beliefs are and just how much they lose out on by not addressing them. This is a great article that defines much about them and sheds light on things we often say to ourselves in order to recognize them.
    Suzanne Jones recently posted..How To Get Rid Of Bad MemoriesMy Profile

    • Sherie October 26, 2012, 9:31 am

      Suzanne, yes, it is a topic dear to both of our hearts, isn’t it? : D Thanks so much for your kind words, dear!

  • Cathy Taughinbaugh October 25, 2012, 4:29 pm

    Hi Sherie,

    Limiting beliefs can hold us back from living life fully. Thank you for explaining and sharing the importance of knowing what our limiting beliefs are and how to get to the root of the problem.
    Cathy Taughinbaugh recently posted..How One Fatal Mistake Can Change Your LifeMy Profile

    • Sherie October 25, 2012, 5:29 pm

      Cathy, thank you and thanks for your comment!

  • Katrina Moody October 24, 2012, 11:34 pm

    Sherie — what a great post! I was surprised a while back to realize that it wasn’t my limiting beliefs that were holding me back as much as I was – for being unwilling to move beyond them. Often, I think, we know what our limiting beliefs are, we lack the courage, the motivation, or the knowledge to move past it. It’s taking that action that is the next step … great post and reminder that taking that step starts with identifying those harder to determine limiting beliefs.
    Katrina Moody recently posted.. Bloggy Conference and Health Advocacy #WeGoHealth #BloggyCon My Profile

    • Sherie October 24, 2012, 11:42 pm

      Yes, action is important, Katrina. A lot of people don’t know how to dig deep and find those limiting beliefs…and some are so deep that they need to have a different perspective in order to see them…and once we let those limiting beliefs go, then it is the time for motivation and action. Thanks so much for your comment!

  • Brandi Taylor October 24, 2012, 12:39 pm


    A great walk-through to help people discover their limiting beliefs. I have a healing and coaching background and when I started an IT company with my husband and business partner, I struggled with limiting beliefs around what my contribution to the company could be. It has been an incredible gift to me to transmute those limiting beliefs and understand my value in our company. Not only do I have incredible intuitive insights to offer, our ability to create a conscious and visionary business has helped us attract amazing clients and amazing generative ideas. I hope everyone takes a close look at what their limiting beliefs are. I think your article will be a great help.

    • Sherie October 24, 2012, 3:25 pm

      Brandi, thanks so much for your insights and what a great gift that you have to share with your company! : D

  • Jamie October 23, 2012, 10:48 pm

    Sherie, I love reading your articles. They’re so informative, well thought out, and full of great information.
    Jamie recently posted..The Happy Egg Company! #neweggintownMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:45 pm

      Jamie, thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate you!

  • Estelle October 23, 2012, 8:41 pm

    Great post, thanks for sharing – limiting beliefs are key to making lasting changes.
    Estelle recently posted..Free Downloadable ResourcesMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:46 pm

      Yes, Estelle,when we get rid of limiting beliefs, the change is lasting…thank you for your comment!

  • Sharon O'Day October 23, 2012, 8:40 pm

    As I see it, our mischievous beliefs are structured like an onion, with one layer over another. The outer layers come off easiest, and they get harder and harder to access as we get closer and closer to the core. What you’ve proposed as a methodology sounds like it could get at a good number of them. Thanks, Sherie!
    Sharon O’Day recently posted..Comment on Financial Thoughts Before You Pull Any Lever by Sally K WittMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:46 pm

      Yes, Sharon, I love the analogy of the onion! Thanks so much!

  • Sally K Witt October 23, 2012, 7:44 pm

    Great post Sherie. This is the key to so much pain and frustration for so many people.

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:47 pm

      Yes, Sally, once those limiting beliefs are gone, the pain and frustration goes with them. Thanks so much for your comment!

  • Elizabeth Maness October 23, 2012, 5:03 pm

    Those pesky limiting beliefs can sure keep us from moving forward and growing. It is important to know what you what and even when it seems impossible keep believing you will reach you goal .

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 5:18 pm

      Right on, Elizabeth! : D

  • Ruth Hegarty October 23, 2012, 4:22 pm

    Sherie, terrific post! What a great process you share for rooting out those limiting beliefs. Very powerful stuff. Thanks so much for sharing it.
    Ruth Hegarty recently posted..How to Apply the Law of Attraction to Stay Motivated and Achieve Your GoalsMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 4:38 pm

      Ruth, thank you…it is a very powerful process…: D

  • Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com October 23, 2012, 2:16 pm

    WONDERFUL post, Sherie! It was a long, long slog for me, but for the most part, I have conquered most of my limiting beliefs and finally know how to check myself when I get that funny feeling because I know one is lurking and needs to be addressed.
    Lisa Frederiksen – BreakingTheCycles.com recently posted..Preventing Secondhand Drinking Is Not About ProhibitionMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 4:38 pm

      Awesome, Lisa! Isn’t it amazing how your life can turn around when those limiting beliefs take a hike? : D

  • Lorrie October 23, 2012, 12:32 pm

    Lovely post and great advice. I find a commitment to mediation practices is another way to relax and know my mind more honestly.

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 1:00 pm

      Yes, Lorrie, meditation is a great tool to know oneself…thank you for your comment!

  • BarabaraJPeters October 23, 2012, 11:33 am

    Great article on limiting beliefs. We keep ouselves from becoming all that we are created to become. . These thought patterns are crucial for success in all areas of our life. Thanks for sharing!

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:47 am

      Changing our limiting beliefs opens so many doors! Thanks, Barbara!

  • Martha Giffen October 23, 2012, 10:34 am

    LOVE the LIE-ability! I have worked steadily for several years on my own limiting beliefs. I can spot them in others rather quickly, but my own can still scoot past me! When I am not receiving what I want, I know that I have a limiting belief blocking the ALLOWING of the thing. Know what I mean? You are blogging about one of my favorite subjects! And, don’t even get me started on people’s limiting beliefs around the religion. Some have had them so long, they don’t even realize they are limiting them!
    Martha Giffen recently posted..The Truth About Outrageous HeadlinesMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:48 am

      Martha, I do know what you mean! If you don’t have what you want and you have the timing right, then there is a block…somewhere…It is one of my favorite subjects too. People can have limiting beliefs in so many areas, can’t they? Thanks so much for your insights! <3

  • Martiel Beatty October 23, 2012, 8:46 am

    So worth the read, thanks for sharing this. I think my day is going to be better because of it. I totally needed this!
    Martiel Beatty recently posted..50 Days of ECO-Love | Design #37My Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:48 am

      Martiel, I am so glad that it hit the spot for you, today!

  • Alexandra McAllister October 23, 2012, 8:42 am

    Excellent post, Sherie! Your suggestions are helpful and I see I still have a ways to go! I wonder if we ever feel 100% complete…without limiting beliefs? Either way, I work on this every day. As you wrote: “Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” YES, I do! Thank you!
    Alexandra McAllister recently posted..Get A Backlink From A PR6.EDU WebsiteMy Profile

    • Sherie October 23, 2012, 11:49 am

      I think it is like peeling the layers of an onion, Alexandra…everyday we keep getting better and better, know what I mean? And yes, you do deserve to drive your own life! <3

  • denny hagel October 22, 2012, 6:49 pm

    Excellent explanation of limiting beliefs!
    denny hagel recently posted..One Parent’s Courageous Journey: Parenting at Its BEST!My Profile

    • Sherie October 22, 2012, 8:23 pm

      Denny, thank you! : D

  • Dawn Lanier October 22, 2012, 3:57 pm

    This post will help so many people Sherie – so glad to see you tackled the subject head on. I especially liked your take that limiting beliefs are a LIE-ability – brilliant! Thanks.
    Dawn Lanier recently posted..30 Great Ways to Promote Your Blog and Why You Need ToMy Profile

    • Sherie October 22, 2012, 4:21 pm

      Dawn,I SO appreciate that, dear, thank you!! <3

  • Tess October 22, 2012, 8:23 am

    Hi Sherie,
    I feel like a celebrity! thank you!
    I have been following your suggestions and it has helped a great deal. I still have more work to do, but I realized a couple of my limiting beliefs over the weekend. I am wondering, once you realize what they are, how do you prevent yourself from continuing to think this way?
    Example, one of my beliefs is you have to work hard for things, other wise you don’t deserve them.
    thank you again!

    • Sherie October 22, 2012, 11:36 am

      Tess, you are a celebrity! ; D You’re welcome!

      I am glad that my suggestions have helped. One of the things I would ask you about that belief…is “Is it true?” and really think about that….next ask yourself “According to whom??”…and see what happens…

      Because this can be complicated to resolve a limiting belief, I can tell you that according to my plan, I will be releasing a book on Amazon (with a tentative release date of November 12) about this. Are you on my mailing list? I will be notifying all of my subscribers of the day and there will be a few days when it will be free. : D There will also be a paperback version (that won’t be free, though…), for people who prefer to hold a book in their hand!

      Some people can use a DIY approach to limiting beliefs and the book will really help them! Others (about 20%) need to have a different perspective on their limiting belief…and so, need a bit of guidance…and that is where I come in! If you would like, we can do a 20 minute intro session…that might be enough to get rid of that belief, for you…with no charge…it’s up to you…: D