This week, I
needed a perspective tune up. Yep. That’s right. I have been feeling very sad about the fact that my oldest daughter, Jennifer and my four grandbabies (one on the way, too) are moving to Nova Scotia.
Changing my Perspective
Because I have all of this experience with NLP, visualization, and changing thought patterns doesn’t mean that I’m perfect at it. : D I still get moments when I need to look back and see what I’ve seen. I need to see what it means to me.
Today, we are going out to see Jennifer and the girls. It is time to say goodbye as they venture out into their new life. I was feeling SO sad and then I had this thought…
It’s not a bad thing. Whoa. What? It’s not a bad thing. From my perspective, I was just thinking about how much I was going to miss them all. I was sad that I wasn’t going to be able to jump into a car and be able to see my grandbabies, play with them….hug them….and then…
Where is the Joy in that Perspective?
It’s nowhere. NO Where….it’s not ANY where…so where is it?
Hiding in assumptions…I have made an assumption about how things are going to be instead of looking at the reality of it. In other words, I had a picture in my mind of what this move would mean to me…I created a negative picture based on the assumptions that I was making.
- Sadness
- Fear of what the future would hold without them
- Despair and lack
- Worry
- Anxiety
So, if I am the person who created the negative picture in my head about the move…then I am the person who can create a different picture in my head, right? Yes. That’s right…and so I did…
“There are no facts, only interpretations.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche Tweet this!
A Changed Outlook and Perspective
In that AHA moment that I had, sitting at my desk in my office, getting ready to write a much different post…and I can still get to that different post later…and I will…just wait…
I realized these few things…
- My grandchildren and daughter are embarking on an adventure.
- They are getting a marvelous opportunity to live mortgage free.
- There is so much for them all to learn on this journey.
- It’s all good.
- I will have a great place to vacation!
- I will still see them because of the wonderful blessing of Skype.
- We live in a time of cheap, safe air travel. Yay!
Changing your Perspective and Outlook
You can, you know. Is there an event in your life that you are dreading because you are imagining it to be one way? I ask you this…”What would happen if you looked at it from a different view point…that’s right…what would happen if you changed the way you were looking at it?” See what happens…you might be surprised…I know that I was…
So, today, when I say goodbye to my grandbabies, I will be sad in the moment, because that is the reality of it…but underneath that sadness, there will be the joy in the adventure that their mom and dad are taking them on…and because I trust in there being a bigger reason than the ones I can see…this will be for the best…in the long run…and nothing will change how I feel about them…that love will always be there…whether they are here or 5000 miles way…because that is just the way it is…and look…at all those possibilities…
Even if things didn’t turn out the way you initially thought they would, doesn’t mean that the new change is bad…it’s just different…and if you change your perspective, you can see the good…because it was always there…waiting for you to see it…just like that…
“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner
Sherie
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Way to go Sherie in terms of adjusting your perspective!! I can really feel the love you have for your children and grandchildren =)
Awww…thank you, Edmund, I do love them all dearly!
Wow! No kidding about similarities in our stories, feelings and perspectives…that is crazy!
I am glad we were both able to see it for what it is before it became consuming 🙂
Keep up the great work Sherie. How are they doing down there? My daughter made it Fri. so am assuming yours is there now?
They haven’t gotten there, yet, Suzanne, the moving vehicle had a set back, so it is in for repairs. They will be there, soon, though! Yes, it is really crazy how we are going through similar things at the same time! Glad your daughter made it done there, safely!
Technology makes family separations somewhat easier these days (although giving up grandbaby hugs has to be tough!). My mother left the U.S. in 1949 on an ocean liner, with four children in tow, to go make her life in Brazil with my father who had been raised there. Your article helped me put THAT whole scene in perspective. Thanks, Sherie!
Wow…I can only imagine how hard that would have been, Sharon. In 1949, getting a letter across the ocean would have been a feat that would take a LONG time. I am so grateful for technology although you are right, giving up grandbaby hugs is tough.
Love this article and this is something that I need to focus on more. It is too easy to go to the negative thoughts instead of the positive. I am working on getting better at this!
It is about progress, not perfection, and we are all works in progress, aren’t we? : D Kerry, thanks so much for posting your comment!
Its important to keep things in perspective :). I hope all goes well for your daughter!
It is important, Mandy! Thank you for your well wishes for Jen…I am sure that all will go well!
Thank you Sherie, such a great post. It is all about perspective, we have two choices… to become unhappy and miserable or accept and move on with a renewed energy… At times it is good to grief and to allow the emotion run its course especially after a loss… However there is a time to move on and as you say: “Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” 🙂
For every season…yes…and when that time comes to move on, we can do it…thanks so much for your kind words, Solvita! : D
Seems it is the week for a-ha moments and changes in perspective. Thanks for a great post. And just think, now you have another great place to go and visit–and half a dozen great reasons to go there.
Hee hee…yes, it does seem to be going around, these a-ha moments, doesn’t it? I do have another great place to go! Thanks for your comment, Marie!
Thanks for a very powerful article, Sherie. It is so Amazing when we learn that we can design our lives just by changing our perspective and by getting really clear on what we what and how we want things to go.
Totally, Susan! Once we realize that we really are in charge of our thoughts and our perspective, it is very empowering! Thank you for your comment, dear!
Love this! The other night, an acquaintance of mine came up to me as I was sitting at an outdoor cafe. She had tears in her eyes because a good friend of hers was moving away. What I realize now, as I read your post, that she didn’t want to change her perspective and feel better. She needed to feel sad in that moment and grieve.
BUT… she doesn’t have to stay there. Like you, she can start to see the good in this change and feel more joy and peace around it.
Right on!! She doesn’t need to STAY there…love how you put that, Nancy! That is exactly it!
Nice post…great reminder. I love what Wayne Dyer says, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
Thanks for sharing that Wayne Dyer quote, Meryl!
YES!!! How wonderful that our generation has been blessed with the knowledge and understanding that WE have the POWER to change our reality by changing our thoughts! Now let’s pass this blessing on to our kids! Great article! Love it!
Absolutely, Denny! It is wonderful that we KNOW that we have the power! Thanks so much for commenting!!
Great post, Sherie. Thanks for sharing your story. Indeed, how we look at things is what’s important. Again, thanks for sharing.
Lorii, really appreciate you reading the post and commenting. Thank you!
Change can be difficult sometimes. I usually embrace it, but this would be one of those situations that would be hard for me, so I understand how you felt initially. You are right, change is not bad, it’s just different.
That’s right, Sara! Thanks for commenting!
Great post! It is how we see things that matters. Everything is an opportunity.
Exactly, Catherine!
Love this post Sherrie, I also love your point about looking at a situation in a different way.Thanks so much for sharing.
What an inspirational story of how you can turn things around. How precious you family must be. I loved “Even if things didn’t turn out the way you initially thought they would, doesn’t mean that the new change is bad…it’s just different” You showed such a great example of how to recognize your feelings and see the reality of your situation. Thanks, Sherie!
Lisa, what can I say? I do love them all so very, very much. Thank you for your very, very kind words!
I love this post, It may not change what is, but it allows us to live with it in relative satisfaction. Thanks for sharing Sherrie…Hugs 🙂
Hugs back, Maria! Thank you so much!
Thanks for sharing, I love the article and can relate to the situation. Been depressed lately it help me to think and apply this to myself also “Drive your own life”
I am so glad that it could help…thanks for dropping by and leaving me a comment, I really appreciate it…hang in there.
Your welcome, Sherie. I should read more of your blog, these would help me feel better 🙂
: D Read on, my dear! : D
ohhhh, I so love this post! It’s the age-old picture of family separations that hurt. LOVE that way you changed your perspective. I have had to do that when my sons have left home. It was never easy but, if you look, just like you did, there is a silver lining to ALL of it. Thanks so much for sharing. I feel your pain. But mostly your JOY!!
Martha, you know of that which I speak! : D : D
Wow, Sherie….I absolutely LOVE your turn-around here!! I’m inspired by this message, as I’ve been experiencing some similar situations recently (my sweet, beautiful Tina gets on a plane to the west coast EVERY week and I lose momentum missing her so much). She has a GREAT new job! She is earning good money to help with our future. She is visiting cities where I’d like to share my speaking messages (once she build up enough miles). All GOOD things! : )
First of all, Steve, congratulations on the awesome opportunity that Tina has!! That is wonderful news! Yes, it is amazing how events in our lives can be so similar, isn’t it?? When you can turn it around, it changes everything. : D
It is so hard to let go and look at our children’s happiness and not hold on to the sorrow of not being never them. Very good to focus on her Adventure! Big hug Sherie !
Big hugs back, Barbara and thank you!
That’s it Sherie.. It’s all how you look at it and how you think about it. You are so sweet! I had a hard time when my last child left the nest and went to college. I was proud and happy but cried everyday for months on end at the empty life I felt I was about have without her! She’s so happy and I’m so happy for her!
Elizabeth, I hear you on that!
Yes, we deserve to drive our own life and we make the right choices we will go from better to better and come out great on the other side of life.
We do…: D
I love this post Sherie (and all the best to your daughter & her family on their journey!). I loved how you described perfectly the process of *feeling* the sadness and loss and then re-framing it for yourself – lovely example of finding the joy!
Thank you for the kind words and the good wishes for Jen and the family, Moira, I really appreciate that!
What a wonderful mum your children have to be able to put their joy first by getting things into perspective this way! Change is an inevitable part of life but I love your point about looking at a situation in a different way Thanks Sherie
Awww….Carolyn, that is so sweet of you to say! Big hugs!
Thanks for sharing your story, Sherie. I can understand how you first felt. I am glad that you are now taking another perspective! Love this quote you posted: “There are no facts, only interpretations.” Sending you much love and lots of (((hugs))!
Alexandra, I really appreciate you, big hugs back!
Wonderful article, Sherie. Thanks for sharing your personal experience. Perspective really is powerful. It may not change what is, but it allows us to live with it in relative satisfaction.
Thank you, Eva, and that is exactly right! : D
Hugs. We all love you Mom! I’m so excited that you can share in the joy of our exciting move with us :).
Love you SO much sweetie!! I’ve got your back and I do share in your joy! All my love!!!