Have you ever
had the feeling of being stuck? I know that I have. At one time or another, most of us have had that feeling. Stuck. It’s not a nice sounding word and it’s not a good feeling. Instead of being able to move forward and get done what you want to get done, you sit there. Feeling. Stuck. That’s right…
“Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.”
~ A. C. Benson~
What Mindset Keeps You Feeling Stuck?
Can you remember being a small child and being told to put your toys away? You know…your mother was right…those toys did need to be put away…well…even though I loved my mom, I used to throw horrible tantrums because I didn’t like to be told what to do. In fact, I can remember very clearly, crossing my little arms across my chest, looking down with a fierce pout on that little face and shouting “No” to my mom.
That is rebellion…and it is possible that there is a small part of you that doesn’t like to be told what to do. ..and yet…don’t you do just that? Yes…you probably do…order yourself around and speak in angry tones to yourself. When was the last time that you needed to do something…something that may or may not have been important…did you have any internal talk with yourself?
If you did…did you speak nicely to yourself or were you angry? My mom was a smart woman. She realized that those tactics of ordering me around weren’t going to get her the results she wanted. So, she did something different…she came in and very kindly said “Let’s put the toys away so that your room can be neat and tidy so that you can have friends over”…and when I did…she came in and told me that I had done a great job…and that worked for me.
Do You Have an Inner Rebel who Keeps You Feeling Stuck?
The problem with having that inner rebel is that often the baby gets thrown out with the bath water or you cut off your nose to spite your face. These are old sayings and they are still relevant today. Have you ever been in a position where you did something that didn’t move you forward…that in fact…moved you backwards…because you were rebelling against a suggestion…even one that would led to positive changes in your life?
I had an experience a week ago. I was taking some advice from a time management expert. She gave me a suggestion to track my time. My inner rebel flared right up! I didn’t want to do it…at all…and in fact…at that moment, I quite wanted to talk myself out of it…totally…
But because I know that she knows more than me about time management, I did some things to calm my inner rebel down…and then…I was able to use that very valuable tool to find out where I needed to make changes…
So, this is one possibility…one reason why you might be feeling stuck…there could be others…
Getting out of Feeling Stuck by Taking Care of Yourself
When you are in the midst of making changes in your life, the last feeling you want is the feeling stuck one. When I recognized that I was feeling stuck about doing the time tracking, I needed to reframe it…to think about it differently…from a different perspective…because in order to make changes…you need to feel good…
Does that sound contrary to you? As a child, were you shamed into putting your toys away? Just imagine how much better you would have felt…and how much more willing you would have been…if you could have found a positive aspect to doing that dreaded chore…
And so I did it…and in doing that, I learned some valuable things about myself and I actually learned that I do more in a day than I thought that I did! I learned that I have a pretty good balance, naturally, between family, work, play, and self-care. So the dreaded time tracker became a very, very good thing. Thank you, Leanne!
It doesn’t matter if you are feeling stuck in a relationship,feeling stuck in a career,or just generally feeling stuck in your life…it all comes down to this:
Ultimate and lasting change and moving through feeling stuck, does not come through being brow beaten or making yourself feel BAD. It comes in an environment of love, nurturing and support and feeling GOOD.
That’s right. You might not have had that before and now…who better to give that to you than you?
Take care of yourself for five minutes today. That’s a very good start. If you need to give something up, like 5 minutes of social media…really…you can do that…can’t you? You could give up 5 minutes of thinking negative thoughts…or 5 minutes of television…and…
- Spend 5 minutes reading.
- Spend 5 minutes using a foam roller for self-massage.
- Spend 5 minutes deep breathing.
- Spend 5 minutes writing in a gratitude journal.
You get the drift, don’t you?
And here is the key…when you feel better and start generating some feelings of good, it is easier to leave the feeling stuck in the past… to move forward…closer to those dreams that you have…in small steps…and then…when that time is right…it is so much easier to take a giant leap of faith…
“Drive your own life…you deserve to, don’t you?” Sherie Venner
Sherie
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Love this Sherie! We’re all ‘drivers’ of our own life in one way or another. Taking control is the ONLY solution =)
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Edmund, absolutely! When we fully realize that we are the ones in control and doing the driving, it all changes! Thanks for your comment!
Great ideas Sherie! Thanks so much for sharing.
You’re very welcome, Vicky, thanks for commenting! : D
I like the idea of a gratitude journal – I keep a list in my head, but that’s not good enough!
That works, too, Mandy…it is just faster when you can write it down! : D
I am so bad at giving myself a hard time in things which ends up having the opposite effect, and I get even less done! I have to learn to take more time for me and not fell guilty about that. Great post – thanks.
That is so true, Kerry…when we are hard on ourselves, we do accomplish less. Thank you so much for your comment! : D
Yup, I am a rebel. Always have been. 🙂 Love the ideas here. To give yourself permission for just 5 minutes to stop the negativity will soon lead to an intolerance for the negativity.
Love your posts! Thanks Sherie!
Awww…Suzanne, we are such kindred spirits! Thank you, my dear!
I think I need to start that gratitude journal 🙂
It’s always a good thing…big hugs, dear Sara, thinking of you!
I absolutely love reading your articles! Your insights and perspective are spot on! Taking care of ourselves is paramount…it is amazing what can be achieved in 5minutes! Thanks for sharing!
Awww….Denny, thank you so much,you are such a sweetheart for saying so! Yes, taking care of ourselves is paramount!
It is so true: that we all need to take 5 minutes for ourselves. It sounds so little but can be so big! It really did take some time for me to say it is ove to walk away and take my personal 5 minute break.
Once you get use to the me time it really does make a difference in yourself!
It really does make a difference, Nancy! Thanks for your comment!
I just mentioned taking a few minutes for yourself last night on Twitter. Just because you can’t sit down and read a book from cover to cover doesn’t mean you can enjoy a few pages in the meanwhile. Little things add up to the whole. Wonderful article Sherie!
Thank you, Kim! Great minds think alike, eh? : D Those little things do add up!
Love the idea of doing things in 5 minute increments. I was rebellious too but not until I was a teen and then through my twenties 😉 I still don’t like to be told what to do…Love to be asked though 🙂
I hear you on that, Anita! LOL
“Ultimate and lasting change and moving through feeling stuck, does not come through being brow beaten or making yourself feel BAD. It comes in an environment of love, nurturing and support and feeling GOOD.” – love love love this, Sherie. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights about this matter!
Lorii, thanks so much for your lovely comment! I am so glad that you valued that part of the post, my dear!
Excellent post, Sherie! When I feel stuck about something, it’s usually because I need to step back from it for some reason. Maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed. Maybe I don’t have enough clarity. Maybe I’m rebelling :). When I take that time and do something totally different (like going for a walk down a beautiful path in nature by my house, going for a drive, or sitting in my meditation chair with candles burning), it takes the overwhelm and lack of clarity away . . . and if I’m rebelling, it gives me a new perspective. Thanks so much for sharing about the time tracker! I appreciate that and I’m so glad that you gained insight from it :).
Leanne, so glad that you shared the time tracker with me!Overwhelm can definitely be a component of being stuck. : D Thanks for your comment and your insights, really appreciate it! You rock!